“Ask and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened.” – Matthew 7:7-8
Thanks for taking the time to read this. My name is Tyler Perry and I’m the author of this site. I was born in New England and have grown up here all my life. I’m a Christian and a student in Computer Engineering (in that order) after finding God in the year 2023. I pray that, through sharing my testimony, God will be glorified. I pray, likewise, that your faith will be uplifted.
As a kid, I grew up entirely separate from religion. There would be brief mentions and moments showcasing my family’s religion (Catholicism) but it was primarily a cultural thing. We didn’t attend church, and I wasn’t brought up knowing anything about the faith. That’s not to discredit my parents (Lord knows they work incredibly hard every day) but it was the case that my knowledge of God was slim to none. I knew about Jesus; I knew he “died for my sins” (though I didn’t understand what it truly meant), I knew Heaven was for good people and Hell was for bad people, etc. Essentially, I knew the cultural Christ, mixed in with some random ideas from Dante’s Inferno like the circles of Hell.
As I grew, I gained a massive love for technology. Gaming began as one of my hobbies with my Nintendo consoles (the Wii and DSi). I coded with beginner knowledge when I was in my teen years, and I just loved the freedom and vast information that came with the internet. This passion for technology (and therefore science) spurred in me a very specific mindset: Things could only be provable and knowable if there was physical evidence, if it could be examined and studied. That’s not to say I believed there was no chance of a god or things like demons, but I was mixed on it. I suppose, in hindsight, I was agnostic. This agnostic belief made it incredibly unlikely that I would commit myself to one specific religion since I found myself constantly thinking: “What if they’re all wrong? There’s no way to truly know who is correct. Therefore, I won’t devote to any. I will simply live my life as it is in front of me.”
Of course, that mentality lead me down a path of sin. By thinking that way, I created an unclear set of moral standards. I could define, by myself, what was okay for me to do. This lead me down the path of lust, vulgar language, laziness, and pride. I found myself falling into habits I shouldn’t. I wouldn’t do my work on time and would constantly delay the inevitable. I always saw myself as the next one to “make a difference” because of praise I received from teachers and guardians, and I became stuck in my own head so much that I started to gain a god complex. All these things and many, many more sins plagued my mind while I isolated myself from the concept of God.
It was at a low point in my life that God made himself known to me, when all of my sinful habits were so abundant. I had been doomscrolling on a night in April, looking through TikTok for hours while melting my brain with dopamine. During my scrolling, I encountered a post which simply stated a bible verse. I don’t remember what verse in particular, but I remember the post being some type of moral advice. I read it, agreed, and moved on. What happened after this, however, were many posts that flooded my feed. Various pieces of scripture alongside beautiful imagery caught my eye as I continued to read through. I started to like these posts; They continued to pry at the state of my heart, speaking to me in ways I could not fathom with a deeply wise understanding. That was when, having been drawn in, I learned about what Christ’s sacrifice truly meant for the first time. A post across my feed taught me the truth for the first time (paraphrasing): While you rebelled against God, he sought communion with you. You were destined for Hell and isolated from God due to your evil, but his grace and love gave you the opportunity to have a relationship with him. He died for you so that you may live, and he rose again from the grave to conquer death and sin forever. This concept, this truth, struck me so deeply I found myself crying. Could this be true? I had no way of knowing. But, through these verses, I found that I wanted it to be. Still, my mindset held me back. How could I follow a God I don’t know exists? The concept of faith was still beyond my reach.
It was then that I decided to try prayer for the first time. I had “prayed” in the past, for whatever junk I wanted (treating God like a genie), but this was my first honest one. I found myself utterly terrified. Talking to the God of the universe was a concept I found daunting, especially considering how much I must’ve wronged him. So, I researched how to pray, and I decided I’d cite a Bible verse during the prayer. I suppose I did this because I thought it would “solidify” my prayer or enhance it. Regardless, my mindset was that I wanted to do it right. If God truly was there, I couldn’t put in half-effort.
I chose Mark 9:24, a moment where a father sought Jesus for the healing of his son, who had an unclean spirit. Jesus tells him that “all things are possible to him who believes” (Mark 9:23), and so the father immediately cries out, without hesitation.
“Immediately the father of the child cried out and said with tears, ‘Lord, I believe; help my unbelief!’” – Mark 9:24
At the time, I hadn’t read the overall context. I knew only about the quote from the father (“I believe, help my unbelief”). Still, I saw this as emblematic of myself. I wanted to truly believe, but I did not think I had it in me to spur a faith all on my own. Had I done so, I would’ve always felt like I was trading reality for a lie. I couldn’t have had an honest faith, but a false one.
So, as I fearfully kneeled to pray, I began. I asked God for faith to believe in him if he was truly real, and I spoke the father’s words. I finished it with an amen, and stood back up. I didn’t feel any different at first, so I simply went back to doing what I was doing.
It was on the next morning where I found myself sitting up in my bed, eyes focused on a part of my room (which I can still remember to this day) with the thought repeating: Jesus is God. I truly believe that God gifted me with the miraculous push I needed, the firm foundation. Since that day, I’ve been continuing to look deeper and deeper into the faith, asking questions and seeking answers which I then knew to be truth. I found a community and a church; I met many great people. God has blessed me so abundantly it is often hard to believe.
Even through my faith, I’ve still struggled with sin immensely. I’ve had many, many ups and downs, but God continues to bring me back to him, calling me home whenever I stumble or wander. I suppose, then, that my testimony is not truly over. Neither is yours.
Praise God.